You're All Boring Me On Twitter and Facebook

I've been complaining about this for quite a while, because way too many people have been upsetting me on Facebook and Twitter. The level of boredom and annoyance has reached a point where I've been contemplating deactivating my Facebook as an act to avoid everyone's news about their daily workouts, cruddy inspirational quotes and complaints about their life as they look for some sort of virtual closure or support. However, I simply have not been able to rid myself of Facebook. If I would deactivate my account, I would lose significant contact, news and what-have-you of friends, former teammates and others. More than networking purposes, I utilize Facebook as a form of entertainment. However, many stand in the way of these intentions.

The same can be said for Twitter. You never realize how unclever and uninteresting people are until they begin tweeting. It's like accidentally hopping on Locomotive Nincompoop on its way to Fartville, USA powered by someone's deficient inner monologue. When I send a tweet out, I attempt to make the update at least remotely interesting or worth a person's glancing time. I strive to be the next @michaelianblack, but I fall plenty short. Regardless, you're still welcome to follow me, @StephenSchu, but I can't promise I'll accept your request.

In that light, I started making weekly roster cuts to both accounts. Since I pathetically couldn't let myself go from the Facebook and Twitter world, I realized the next best thing was to sift through the numbers...

Jan. 30, 2012 - @StehenSchu: "Slowly but surely unfollowing many people due to their lack of efficient/entertaining tweets or outrageously excessive boring tweets."

AMAZING call by me. Props, bro! Thanks, bro! I felt a bit guilty at first, but once you drop your first 20 peeps and go 12 hours without hearing someone's misspelled complaint about "The Bachelor" and what they are eating, you'll continue to unfollow more.

After two weeks, the results are as follows:

-Reduced annoying tweets by 65%
-Reduced uploaded baby pictures from unplanned pregnancies by 89%
-Appreciated 45% more status updates and tweets
-Miles per gallon up 2.08%
-Reduced unthoughtful tweets by 34%
-Reduced hearing about girls sad, poop relationships by 95%
-Increased "Likeable" comments and posts by 51%
-Intelligence up 14%
-20% less constipation

So, if you are like me, I suggest you start limiting the number of friends you have on Facebook and those you follow. Due to many different group affiliations, I still have trouble cutting a few here and there. Why? Because people get hilariously offended. However, if you're being a tweet slut...you deserve what you have coming. No one is asking you to be consistently hilarious or insightful but think over what you're going to proclaim a few times before you throw it up on Facebook or Twitter. People write in journals for reasons.