I Hate Your Excessively Peppy Facebook and Twitter Statuses

This is exactly what I look like.

I suppose my view of Facebook and Twitter is fairly pessimistic. I don't enjoy most posts I read - in fact, I probably hate 93% of the status updates I see on Facebook. I use both social media sites as sources of entertainment. Sadly, the majority of the population sees tweeting and status updates as a personal journal of ramblings - which can be incredibly intriguing....but usually not. As I once stated in an earlier blog, "You never realize how unclever and uninteresting people are until they begin tweeting. It's like accidentally hopping on Locomotive Nincompoop on its way to Fartville, USA powered by someone's deficient inner monologue." So, yes, I likely really don't enjoy almost everything you post. However, my friend tweeted this, which I did enjoy:

"People who are not motivated at all bug me. But people who act super motivated all the time bug me more. Settle down."

How true, how simple but true. Being positive, enthusiastic and motivated about everything in life is admirable...but not realistic. We all know someone like this. Their energy level is as if ten teams of cheerleaders fused into one person. The individuals are super nice, likely super respectable but also super in your face ABOUT EVERYTHING. You can rightly assume these balls of mobilized firecrackers are either on excessive amounts of drugs or so far out of touch with reality they are doomed to an epic awakening of depression when they realize the world isn't all sunshine and farts.

Furthermore, these intensely positive individuals are hard to legitimately hate but so easy to be bothered by. There's a happy medium you wish these people could find - but to each their own. As nice as you can try to look at their constant, amped-up bliss, consistent contact with these individuals forces even the most courteous of us to begin avoiding general conversations with them, because sometimes at 7:15 a.m. on a Monday the last thing you need is a yelling fuck of kindness in your ear. Likewise, hiding no longer works as physical avoidance now becomes not enough, because social media is a sure-fire way to let everyone know everything you're thinking.

So, often times the tweets and posts I hate are idealistic, motivational phrases from one of these individuals - because they don't come in single form. They are delivered in packages of 19/day. Although I never have been one to be incredibly inspired by random motivational posters or quotes, I believe writing is one of the greatest ways to communicate thoughts, beliefs and experiences - sometimes more than any other mode of communication. The power words have is unending. From books to essays to poetry -- writing has the ability to prompt you to think and feel in new, complex ways you never would have been introduced to otherwise. My respect for great writers of all genres is immense. However, this doesn't mean everything is worth writing...or communicating....

What makes me more annoyed than motivational quotes, by far, are over peppy updates of people's current and future life events. Let me try to give you an example:

"What a great day! After seven years of school, I will finally be an official employee at [insert generic corporation]! I am truly blessed and thank all those people who have supported my dream of becoming an Assistant Financial Advisory Managing Team Leader since childhood to put me in a position to succeed! Love to all! Don't let troubles stand in your way! Starting my week on a cloud of bliss!"

I feel so awkward when I read these. I don't want to downplay someone's accomplishments, but announcing these events and feelings in an over dramatic, shot-out-of-a-glitter-gun positive fashion with a hint of failed poetic elegance just doesn't hit me the right way. I don't see Facebook and Twitter as correct mediums to communicate over-the-top messages. When I read one of these immensely high spirited updates, I throw it on the on the same level as a 13-year-old girl announcing she will never love again. You want to respect their feelings but can't take the comment seriously. I mean, come on, it's Facebook.

Take it down a notch.

I once brought up this topic to a few people and was criticized for lacking the "spirituality" to appreciate the posts.......what? They followed my response of a confused eyebrow raise and head tilt with, "You just don't get it. She/he is really spiritual now." I've had multiple college courses on spirituality, and I wouldn't say "lacking spirituality" is correct phrasing. I would say I'm more realistic, and, by being realistic, when you rub your lifestyle and peppy to the point of puke thoughts in my face, I tend to not enjoy it. These people have the Tim Tibow mentality. I love hearing friends and family success stories, but not when they're consistently in my face about it - like a child forcing a chew toy into a dog's face. The bulk number of these tweets and posts takes away the significance of the situation - to the point where I will no longer read these, even when they are of importance.

We are all guilty of using these mediums as opportunities to assume the world cares about our train of thought, actions and lifestyles. My suggestion for these excessively positive people is to take it down a few notches, for everyone's sake. I want what I read through both Twitter and Facebook to evoke some emotions that don't include annoyance and the wish for a "despise" button.