Let me serenade you with a poem

Sometimes after I have a bucket full of coffee and red wine (I call it "colon pepper"), I indulge in the finer things...eggs, chemistry, scented candles, horse tails...and even literature. Often times, after reading Little Critter's First Shave, I feel provocative enough to write something of my own. And, since I've already written several short stories about me shaving myself, I've branched off into other artistic mediums. Recently, I wrote a poem, and I would like to share it with you:

You Are My Crypt, Inflame My Soul

Don't decay, darling.
Live on like the embalmed Latino women
in my neighborhood.
Absorb my rapture and let me dine
in your coffin.
If our love is paradise then my heart is satin.
And if we don't make it to heaven,
let us shock the souls of Limbo.
Sinless infants will dance
above Purgatory,
shaking the chandeliers of coping families,
so they won't forget us
like the embalmed Latino women in my neighborhood.

Another Ode to Coffee Shops

In November, Mason wrote an entry regarding coffee shops, and the on-going debate between anti-corporate, Starbucks and other competitors. Like many people, I'm along with Mason in hitting these "let your hair down" locations. However, coming into any coffee joint has never been easy for me.

I'm currently sitting in Luna Cafe, a phenomenal coffee shop in De Pere, Wis., which is a short walk from St.Norbert College. Luna is a must among students and the greater college community. I never went to Luna very often until my senior year, and I say the same for corporate coffee establishments. Something about sitting on a laptop, composing a journal entry about your dead dog "Kyle," ordering an outrageously specific coffee drink in an obscurely "hip" setting never appealed to me. Yet, here I am, blending in with the old douche-bags pretending to be young as they jot down notes and attempt to hit on the posh, possibly attractive girls dressed like they grew up in a thrift store near the forest. These epicenters of counter-culture and caffeinated drinks have gradually grown on me.

My love for coffee is embedded in my DNA down to my toenails. I prefer coffee black and often. I like my coffee how I like my women; strong and from Denny's. My friends have always been rattled when I order a coffee post dinner or how my family of six downed six pots of coffee respectfully on Christmas morning. As blue is to Babe the Ox, coffee is to me. I know my good coffee, but that doesn't mean I won't settle for swept up grounds off a shop floor. However, small coffee shops like Luna and even your over-priced corporate shops make some amazing brew. So, the quality of coffee from niche joints was the first hook to keep drawing me back. What began to reel me in further was my innate frugal traits.

Luna, for example, is very responsibly priced. If you sit down for a simple cup of coffee, it's one dollar for the initial mug and only twenty-five cents for refills. If you bring five dollars with you, you'll have had enough mild laxative to poop out your colon. In addition, these groovy settings bring in an outrageous crowd. Sad women reading newspapers, exchange students playing Farmville, unemployed uncles wearing scarves -- the list goes on. If you are seated in a proper position, coffee shops are ideal for people watching.

Like a retail store, coffee joints morph their customer's state of minds. In many cases, some of my best writing has been done at Luna, but this doesn't discredit the fact many individuals are still going to Starbucks with their laptop to let everyone know they are writing, studying or being productive. It's sad individuals reach a point where they need the sensual recognition from strangers to gain self worth in their daily tasks. Regardless, through time you eventually get over the hump off the "touch of the world" crowd around you.

At one point I realized these strange people are doing what makes them happy. Whether it's having a latte and thinking about their dad or catching up with a friend, this easy to judge crowd is just like you; enjoying the free time they have.

Caffé Espresso: A Green Bay Gem

I noticed while in college many of my fellow students never thought too highly of the greater Green Bay, WI dining options. Outside of your standard Texas Roadhouse, Noodles and Company, Olive Garden and Applebee's (if you've been to Applebee's you've also been to Chili's and T.G.I. Friday's), I doubt many people, even those from Green Bay, know of some of the phenomenal places to dine. You have to converse with locals to usually find these places. However, I can recall one Green Bay native once telling me their favorite place in GB to grab drinks was Applebee's, and I couldn't believe they admitted that self-belittling fact -- I felt embarrassed for them. I mean, I guess I moderately understand what they are saying; I refuse to ever go to Applebee's again unless I'm inappropriately intoxicated. Regardless, Green Bay has a few establishments I can recommend.

Believe it or not, Downtown GB holds some found-in-a-diaper-gold eateries. Outside of the high and low bar scene, cleverly weaved around crap joints like Kittner's and amazing places like St. Berndan's Inn, there is my favorite restaurant of the city -- Caffé Espresso.

I was introduced to Caffé Espresso by my father, and since then I never turn down an opportunity to step into the restaurant's doors. If you are looking for a good cup of coffee, solid alcohol beverages, a fantastic meal or just a place to have a conversation; check Caffé Espresso out. When I interned only a few blocks away I tried to make a weekly trip there. I'm still astounded such an establishment exists next to the poopy country bar, Stir-Ups.

Caffé Espresso draws an extremely diverse crowd along with with an unbeatable, unique experience between a "let your hair down" atmosphere and a supper club setting. The dark and jazzy lighting throughout the small bar/lounge and dining area has a Dinkytown presence.

I have trouble recommending what to get for food, since I've never had anything there I didn't love. My personal favorites are the impressive CCQ and Sicilian Steak Sandwich. The first time I had that sandwich I didn't realize food could taste that good. Nonetheless, Caffé Espresso's menu has assorted Greek and Mexican options -- all extraordinary amazing. Price range? I would say you could get a full meal for roughly $13.00 (including meal and coffee). Not cheap but nothing outrageous. In addition, for those of you into coffee-liquor drinks - prepare to be blown away.

I'm not knocking on you haters who live for Red Robin or Subway, but I want to introduce people to a privately owned, well-run and underrated place to eat. Like many, I'm big into the counter culture businesses. Caffé Espresso is my favorite place to court girls on dates, catch up with a friend or conduct some business logistics. Hit it up!

Their website -- http://www.cafesprso.com/index.html#index