The Growing Acceptance in Lack of Pride in Work and Life

Outside of my humor and puppet focused posts, I've wrote on life goals and professional careers. I've recently felt compelled to return to the topic as I've become increasingly troubled by the answers I receive when I ask post-college graduates what their future plans or current goals are. Their answers are a too often and troubling, "Not sure," or an unmotivated, "I don't know."

I understand, TRUST ME, I UNDERSTAND, leaving college or even having decided an ultimate goal a few years down the road may be problematic -- especially with the current job market. The economy validates the uncertainty in the answer to some extent. My issue isn't the unknown, clueless answer; the growing trend of acceptance to the lack of motivation and pride is what bothers me.

I had a conversation with a friend recently and asked them where they wanted to climactically be in their career as an achievement of true success. The individual said they had attended grad school, received their Master's, found a very good job and are looking to return to school for a Ph.D. within two years. I instantly explained to my friend my extreme adoration for their success and aspirations. I went on to explain how commonplace it's become for a person to answer the same question with a simple, "Whatever." A "whatever" aimlessly preserved in airless atmosphere, which the entire world is supposed to see as irreproachable. You aren't to question that they are unsure, not to make any recommendations, not to help, but rather applaud and encourage the lack of pride, because there really is no pride.

Clint and Ron Howard

One way people go about making up for their lack of success is gluing themselves to the coattails of those they have relationships with, both intimate and as friends or family. I see such an innate problem with clinging onto someone else's achievements in order to give off the impression you're doing well by association. Isn't this growing standard concerning for everyone else? 

You should be able to look yourself in the mirror with your chin up and say, "Look at what I've done." Instead, people avoid the mirror and throw a towel over it. They live off the sensual feeling and grossly existing pride and satisfaction in what the person their married to has accomplished or what the people they've slept with have done.

It's sickening; it's disturbing; it makes you wonder, "When are these people going to wake up? Will they go on the rest of their lives gloating and proudly pissing in a pond of gold filled by another's accomplishments?"

Of course, discussing your goals or successes is uneasy and awkward, but at some point you need to be able to remove the towel you tossed over the mirror. Whether your goal is to just get a decent job or raise a great family, you have to draft some blue prints! Did your family not raise you to succeed? If they didn't, don't you see others who are driven and have some small desire to be like them?

"Stop being a fucking dinosaur and get a job".

What holds people back from questioning their friend's or family member's lack of path and ambition is the fear we will "hurt their feelings." We think questioning someone's lack of motivation as "mean" and "not polite" -- and to some extent it is. But I rather have a repeated kick in the balls to send some reality to my brain than have a rotting virus in my head make excuses for my lack of self-sufficiency.

My advice to those who are unsure on their life goals is to at least have something in line (even if it's short term). Without goals you have no backbone, and the lack of supportive structure has become terrifyingly "okay" with everyone. I understand too, it's whatever makes you happy. However, living your life with little self-accomplishment and fueling your own sense of pride with other's successes is inherently sickening.