Have Your Mind Blown and Your B YOBed at (Re)Zoned: Tales from the Magical Twilight

I love shameless self-promotion. It's the easiest thing to market other than Simon Birch films.

I wanted to let you lovely people know of a super fantastic event going on in Chicago for the next three weeks. It's so good you have to buy tickets for it....

It is...

(Re)Zoned: Tales from the Magical Twilight

What's the catch? Catch? CATCH? You offend me, sir. Because this "catch" you speak of is the cheery on top of this sweet cake of golden oysters*. (Re)Zoned is a sketch comedy show by Corn Productions - who were paid enough money by my boys in the Lollipop Guild to allow me to be part of the acting ensemble. What's that? You need more background on the show? You are hoping this is a BYOB theater? You like people that talk like they are from 1953? GREAT.

(Re)Zoned offers a sketch comedy twist on the original sci-fi TV series, "The Twilight Zone," with some extraordinary magic and a killer house band, The Cell Phones, to guide you through the comedy vignettes and episode parodies - and to also help you keep your sanity. Oh, magic**? You didn't misread - magician Justin Purcell hosts the show, as he performs interactive magic with the audience that may blow your mind all over your program***. Brain splatter jumpsuits are not available at Corn - BYOJ (bring your own jumpsuit).

The best part is you don't have to have ever seen "The Twilight Zone" or even know what magic or a band is to enjoy the unhinged ride through the 5th dimension!

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More reasons to go:

1. It's BYOB.
2. You'll be in an audience, so it will seem like you have friends even though you don't.
3. The show is a good excuse to get out of grandma's house and stop bingeing on her medicine.
4. It's BYOB - that means you can bring alcohol into the building and drink it under no judgement****
5. Corn is now a horse free theater.*****
6. Waka Flocka Flame gave the show a GREAT Yelp review.

Magic or reality?

Meet the cast*****:

Ensemble -  Dustin Craig, Kamron Palmer, Alex St. John, Stephen Schumacher, Ivory Stahly, Antora Delong, Emily Forberg, Hannah Dobratz, Justin Purcell

Featuring in house band - The Cell Phones

Directed by Kevin Anderson

Stage Manager - Jes Mican


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(Re)Zoned runs Wednesdays through Saturdays at 8 p.m. Feb. 22 through March 23. Tickets are $7 on Wednesdays, $10 on Thursday and $15 on Fridays and Saturdays. Y'all can purchase tickets online , by  reserved calling 773-650-1331 or by purchasing them at the door.

Please come, because if you don't I'll find you lazy, sweaty sack of pancakes and cut off your big toes. lolz. See you there!

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* Available at Jewel-Osco one block from Corn.
** It's real magic - so don't bring anything you don't want sawed in half or turned into a dove.
*** Corn has recently gone Green. All programs are made from formerly blown minds.
**** Feral horses/ghost-horses in the audience who are recovering alcoholics will judge, but we have no control over them.
***** Physically, the theater is horse free. But mentally....
****** Some of the cast members are part horse - the hooves and tails are a dead give away on who.

Come See the Theater Debut of "Roseannkenstein!"

I'm not usually into self-promotion....Ha, who am I kidding? I sell trading cards of myself at Hispanic thrifts stores on weekends, but that's beside the point. I wanted to let you lovely people know about something BIG that's happening in the Greater Chicago Area. Something SO BIG, you have to buy tickets to see it...

It is.....

Roseannkenstein: The Ballad of Roseanne, As Told By Frankenstein's Monster

And here's the hook...I'M IN THE PLAY! "What's it about," you ask? "What kind of play," you wonder? "Can I bring my pet owl or owl family," you ponder?? Then read below!!

First off, yes; it's that Roseanne...The lovable, snarky comedy queen from that hit TV show you either really like or have barely seen. As Roseanne prepares for her favorite holiday of all, Halloween, something mysterious is happening in a far away country of old - Geneva, Switzerland - where Dr. Frankenstein* is finishing his preparations to bring his creation to life when suddenly Roseanne and Frankenstein's monster switch places, Freaky Friday style (minus the Lohan).

By now I'm sure you're thinking this is definitely a romance/drama - well, you're wrong. This is an original sitcomy, dark comedy written by Seth Wanta, and "Roseannkenstein" is making it's theater debut this weekend. The best part is you don't have to have ever seen "Roseanne" or read Mary Shelley's epic tale to fall in love with the play - you can sit back and enjoy the HILARIOUS comedic situations that ensue. You must provide your own owl tamer but you may trade-in your owl poop after the show for cash**

More reasons to go:

1. I'll be barefoot.

2. You get to sit down.

3. Laughing prevents foot bunions.

4. If you're cute I'll wink at you not four*** but five**** times during the show.

5. You'll be in an audience, so it will seem like you have friends even though you don't.

Maybe you know one of these way funnier and more talented people in the cast:

Victor Frankenstein - Richard Anderson
Elizabeth Frankenstein - Erin Thorn
Agatha / Kid - Haylee Coburn
The Creature - Stephen Schumacher
Igor/ Kid - Jodi McGrath
Roseanne Conner - Charlie Irving
Dan Conner - Kevin O'Connell
Kathy Loveless - Jules Reid

Directed by: Marla Jacob
Written by: Seth Wanta

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Fridays and Saturdays at 7:30 p.m. from Oct. 19-27
Gorilla Tango Theater - 7924 Lincoln Ave., Skokie, IL
$15/ticket - visit the website or buy at the door.

Please come, because if you don't I'll find you lazy, sweaty sack of pancakes and cut off your big toes. lolz. See you there!

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*You may feed your owl while Dr. Frankenstein is on stage - he throws owl feed into the audience and has a very calming presence, which owls like.

** Owl poop trade-in scale: 1 mouse skeleton = 1 paper moneys, 2 mouse skeletons = 1.78 paper moneys etc.

*** If I give you four winks, I still will kiss you out by your car after the show, but you aren't cute and won't get my number.

**** If I give you five winks, you'll get to make love to me after the show and help me finish eating my post-play oatmeal.